Difficult days happen for everyone, but if you have been actively working on treating your anxiety with therapy and/or medicine, a bad day can feel especially overwhelming. It’s easy to get caught up in negative, all-or-nothing thinking. You may feel that this increased anxiety shows that you are unable to feel better for any length of time, or even that treatment is impossible for you. Some people may feel hopeless or broken, like they are destined to suffer from anxiety continually.
Instead, it’s essential to recognize that having a difficult day is a normal part of the ebb and flow of mental health recovery. Indeed, setbacks are a natural part of the healing journey and can lead to progress on another day. On this difficult day, it’s important to practice self-kindness and patience, and review what has helped you improve prior to this setback.
Understanding Anxiety on a Difficult Day
When I talk to clients who are going through a difficult day, I often hear their frustration. They may feel that the goal of therapy is to help them feel happier and less anxious all the time, so either the treatment is failing, or they are failing. As a therapist, I share their goal of having them feel happier and less anxious overall, but recognize that progress doesn’t mean immunity to hard days.
Wellness, after all, doesn’t mean we won’t have triggers and unexpected emotions. I think of a client whom I saw for a brush-up session who had been doing extraordinarily well after overcoming agoraphobia. Two years later, she called again: her husband had been diagnosed with cancer, and balancing caregiving with her full-time job and parenting caused her anxiety to return.
I helped her normalize that experience: most people in her situation would feel anxious. Less dramatic experiences—and even unexplained mood shifts—can also increase anxiety. Understanding these shifts as part of the human experience (Mental Health America) can help us begin to support ourselves without falling into the trap of self-blame or catastrophizing.
Practical Steps to Stop Spiraling
Step 1: Pause and Ground
Take a minute or two for yourself
Try simple mindfulness techniques for grounding or a guided meditation
Step 2: Recognize and Validate Feelings
Affirm that your feelings are valid
Write down emotions and notice that they are temporary
Step 3: Use Effective Self-Talk
“I’ve been here before. I can handle this today.”
“I’m struggling right now, and that’s ok. If I keep moving forward, this will pass.”
For more strategies, consider reviewing CBT tools for anxiety that you’ve used in the past.
Reflecting on Progress and Helpful Techniques
As you gain perspective on this difficult day, reflect on your anxiety journey as a whole. Celebrate the gains you’ve made instead of focusing only on what hasn’t gone well. Learning from your wins helps you feel empowered when navigating future challenges.
Ask yourself:
What would I say to a friend in this situation?
Which tools from therapy have helped before?
Do I need support from my therapist or care team?
Remember, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, resources like the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) offer evidence-based tools and guidance.
Moving Forward with Compassion
Living a good life with anxiety isn’t about avoiding hard days altogether—it’s about learning to support yourself through them. Setbacks are not signs of failure; they are signs that you’re still in the process of growth and healing.
With time, these moments can become springboards for resilience. Continue to move forward gently, using the resources, strategies, and support systems that have helped you in the past.
Above all, remember: progress, not perfection. You’re far more capable than you may feel today.